Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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