Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
