I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
