Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
