garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish they made helmets for livers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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