If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
