I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
