We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
