Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
