Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
