We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Small penises have feelings too.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
