We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
