You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
