so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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