Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
