After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
