I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize