THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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