Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
