I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
