he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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