Whod you bang
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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