Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
