erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
