pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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