Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
