My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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