So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I wear drunk well.
He did a backflip because drugs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
