Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
