I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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