It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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