How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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