Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize