U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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