Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
