this beer tastes like vomit already
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize