Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
