i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
