Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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