Plan B is the new Plan A
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
