I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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