That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
