i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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