dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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