i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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