Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
