So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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