I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
