he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
