Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
