i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize