Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
