I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
