dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He shit in the fireplace
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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