Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
