you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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