lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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