I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize