Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
