puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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