She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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