She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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