so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
