what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
