"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
