I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
