i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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