I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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