why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
