Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
