you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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