The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
