at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
