do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
