We're facebook friends in real life
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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