She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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