Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
