Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
